NLP: Beliefs, Congruency & Behavior

Sid Jacobson

Part 2

Note: This originally appeared as a three-part series, in Alternatives (a local New Orleans paper), in the March, April and May, 1991 issues. It has been preserved here in the same three-part format.

In the last issue I introduced some of the basic presuppositions, beliefs if you will, of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Each of these is accompanied by some questions to test, and motivate yourself. You may want to review those, to remind yourself of the changes you can make in your thinking and behavior, now.

The mind/body relationship is cybernetic, a change in one part of the system will affect other parts.

Most people realize that our thinking affects us physically, even to the point of allowing us to become sick, or well. By the same token, if we are not healthy, or even comfortable, we won't think very well. If we can control our physical and mental processes effectively, there is little we can't do. And let's not forget our immediate surroundings, our environment. We should live in one that is supportive of who we

are and what we need, both individually and collectively.

Questions:

1. How long has it been since you stopped to "take stock" of how you run your life, and your health?

2. What changes would you need to make in your thinking, the way you treat your physical needs, or your environment to give yourself every opportunity to live life to its fullest and healthiest?

3. When has there been a time when you realized the importance of using your thinking to control your physical well-being?

4. How do you insure that you get a good diet, enough exercise, plenty of rest, and lots of healthy stimulation to keep vital?

There are no mistakes, only feedback.

Every thing we do, successful or not, can be learned from. If we take results as feedback, rather than failure, they can teach us a lot about how to behave and live. People who kick themselves for their mistakes usually don't take the time to carefully analyze the causes and effects of their behavior, in each area of their lives. That means they don't learn all they can. To paraphrase a well-known statement, those who don't learn from their own history are condemned to repeat it.

Questions:

1. When was the last time you found yourself consoling a friend or loved one who had screwed something up? Did you notice how you did this with an attitude of support, without harsh judgment, realizing that, even though the outcome may have been lousy, the

intentions of this person were worthwhile?

2. Have you ever done the same thing for yourself?

3. What were your biggest "life lessons"? The ones that have shaped you in the most positive ways?

4. Have you ever heard, or said to someone else: "Someday you'll look back on all this and laugh?" Why wait?

Everyone has all of the internal resources they really need–which doesn't mean they couldn't use a little help finding them.

People are resilient. They are smart. They are capable. When they don't seem to be any of these things, it is because they are not in touch with their internal resources and strengths. The best help seems to be the kind that allows people to find their own answers, strengths, and abilities–and use them.

Questions:

1. We've all had the experience of doing something foolish, or seeming to forget how to do something we really know well. Later, when the situation has passed, we realize that we knew exactly what to do, but were just too flustered at the time to gather our wits about us. After those times have you ever stopped to "program" yourself (in whatever way you do this) to make sure that you would do better if the situation ever arose again?

2. Have you ever forgotten something, perhaps someone's name, or another important piece of information, only to "spontaneously" remember it at a later time? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be so in tune with your unconscious processes that you would be able to remember these things when you need them?

3. How much time do you spend actually planning how you would handle difficult situations? Do you vividly imagine these things occurring, and feel the feelings you would have if you smoothly, effectively and gracefully moved through these difficulties?

4. Do you often imagine that each day you'll have more and more of your abilities and resources available to you, automatically?

All the information you need can be obtained through clear and open sensory channels.

We all know that we sometimes look around wildly, and needlessly, for that which is right in front of us. Whether this is our car keys, the pencil we just put down, the right person for the job, or a new idea; if we pay attention we will find it. If we don't, we won't.

Questions:

1. Do you realize that people tell you and show you everything you need to know to deal with them effectively, so that both you and they can benefit from being together?

2. Have you ever had an experience in which time itself seemed to slow down to the point that you were able to see and hear much more than you seem able to normally?

3. When was the last time you stopped to just look and listen, when you needed to make a change? Did you notice new things when you did this? Things that made a real difference for you?

4. What would your life be like if you easily noticed all of the subtle cues and messages others around you gave out in their everyday communication?

Next issue we'll continue with more basic assumptions about life, and questions to motivate you to put into your behavior exactly what you believe. Perhaps you are already making changes, now, based on asking yourself these questions.

Copyright © 1999-2002 Sid Jacobson,Ph.D. All Rights Reserved